Day 38: The Art of the “R” Bomb

animals, blogging, cats, creative, lifestyle, reading, working

Urban Dictionary defines the term “R Bomb” as the following:

“To read a message, and not respond, or ignore, usually with intention”.

I’d like to point out that as a Professional Writing and English major my grammar isn’t always on point, nor are my sentences perfectly structured, but I had to read that definition more than once to deduct that was ill conceived and if all else fails in the field — I can always get a job with Urban Dictionary.

Anyways, moving away from poor grammar and into texting (ha, see what I did there? Because texting is considered the leading form of language death and…yeah, whatever)…

I have a confession to make and this is a big one. I, Noelle De Vera, am a master at the RBOMB. I do it all the time, and honestly if I do not need to talk to you or I simply do not feel like it – I will completely bypass your message and respond when I see fit… IF I ever see fit.

I’m perfectly pleasant and a little passive aggressive about it. If you say “hey” a million times and I have ignored you or simply forgotten about answering your message you might get a response akin to “hey! I’m so sorry – I was __________”. Or if you write a long winded message that probably took you a few minutes to type out and then a few extra minutes to proofread and edit I might take a few hours to think about what I’d like to say, especially if you’re hoping for a positive response and I’m only willing to give an honest one. In response, you will get a long winded message that I too have edited and thought out – but the difference here is I ignored you for so long because I felt the need to prolong our friendship – even for a few hours.

I RBOMB people like it’s nobody’s business – a little less over text than I do over Facebook Chat, WhatsApp, and Snapchat…but hey, I’m a work in progress.

My problem is that people generally text me when they have an issue or a question they wish to ask me right in that moment and because I’m at work so often I don’t get around to seeing the message unless I’m on break or finished my shift. By that time, the message is rendered either irrelevant or you’ve gotten so fed up with waiting that you sought out the answer in a different place.

Snapchats are all about showing off – everyone knows that. So, I watch the 1- second picture sideshows and go about my day because I simply have nothing special to send pictures about. I will give Snapchat this though, it’s a lot easier to do while inebriated than texting is. There are times when autocorrect can’t even help me and my goodness it’s a relief to know that I can drunkenly send a picture of my face and the person on the other end of the conversation will just get it.

My attitude toward being RBOMB’d varies, however.

I will text you the second I have something to ask you. I will wait a good 5 minutes for a response and then I will message you again. After that I will ask someone else if they have the answer to my question and if they do not have it I will text you again. If this doesn’t work, I will either give up or call you and hang up as soon as you pick up so I know you’ve checked your phone.

I don’t care if you respond to my message.

I just need to know you’ve read it.

If the last few months have taught me anything, it’s that sometimes I say things that honestly leave little to be said in response or that people just have no response for.

You see, folks – I like to finish things that I’ve started. Apparently.

I can’t remember the last time I honestly just messaged someone because I felt like talking to them.

I miss conversations like those.

But I stopped having them because I got tired of being RBOMB’d.

Somewhere along the line, I took up a habit of doing the exact same thing.

ITS A DISEASE.

Just because I do it a lot doesn’t mean I like having it done to me. If I take the time to respoInd to your texts right away you’ve reached a level in my life where you’re more important than work, my customers, my job integrity, and my overall image as an upstanding employee.

If you’ve reached that level, Mazel Tov, L’Chaim and good lineage to you and yours.

I’m going to bury my face in a book until my Feline Child demands I turn off the light.

– The Master RBOMB-er

P.S. I’ve realized my book is in my purse all the way in the other room so therefore I will now just go to sleep.

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One thought on “Day 38: The Art of the “R” Bomb

  1. *Sob, sob, sob* You’ve been RBOMBing me this whole time?
    I never even knew that was a thing until reading your post. Where did the title “R Bomb” come from? One would think the title for an ignored text would be “Ignored” or something of horizontal significance. At any rate, as the old paradigm goes, “If you desire instant gratification from texting, you must show yourself an instantly gratifying texter.”

    Au revoir

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