Ladies and gents, I’m sure we’ve all been in the situation where we find ourselves out on a date, and we think the night goes pretty well – but we’re just not sure about it and in order to feel any sort of way about it we must go home and obsess about it either alone or with the help of our many, many friends, family members, or feline children.
If you have never really been in this situation you A) have no soul, B) have no soul, or C) are so ridiculously good looking that no one has ever left any kind of date with you without insisting to hangout with you again either the next day or within the immediate future.
As a young adult in the dating field, I find myself unable to comprehend the procedures that go along with dating and the signs that someone is either really into you or really just not.
Now, I’d like to clarify that I have never left a date wherein the other party has panic bailed, ran away from me screaming, set themselves on fire, or otherwise. I have however left a few dates feeling giddy, happy, but totally unsure of where to carry on from there.
I’d like to present my gathered list of 5 signs that he’s either not into you or you’re going bonkers – because in the game of love, folks, there really is no damn difference.
1. He Mentions That You Should Contact Him – But Doesn’t Contact You? — It’s been a couple of days and honestly you haven’t heard a single word from him. You’re a crazy broad and you check his Facebook or Instagram to see he’s posted but you refuse to message him because damn it! You’re not attached! Seriously, he’s either not into you, or NEWSFLASH – he’s out living a life you should be living too. We’re all adults here, and if he’s busy and you don’t cross his mind? C’est la vie!
2. On Your Date He Vaguely Mentioned His Exes and The Fact He’s Not In A Relationship Currently — first of all, good for you for finding an actual single human being that wanted to go on a date. Secondly, he either mentioned his exes to make sure you weren’t as crazy as them, to make sure you knew he wasn’t looking for anything serious, or to gauge what the hell it is you were looking for. He’s a guy, he’s not going to flat out ask you about 3 things; your weight, your intentions, and your salary. But he’s gonna try and feel around to see what happens.
3. Your Date was Casual and Fun, “Date” turned to “Hangout” — this is something I’ve learned through trial and error. Unfortunately, the guy is the only one who is allowed to call it a date because if they call it anything else it means it was only that. A date isn’t the same as a hangout or chill or beer, or a drink… A date is something scary, something they actually have to try at, and something that means it will lead to something more important. Yuck – who wants that?
4. He Responds to Your Messages Right Away But Doesn’t Send His Own — you know what this means, right? Well, it means he was waiting for you to reach out because HELLLLUR, he’s hot stuff. He’s the man. That, or it means that he happened to have his phone on him the moment you texted him and he’s not about the ignoring to make you want him more game.
5. He Cancels The Next Impending Hangout Because He Didn’t Plan It — so you grew some cahones and asked him to hangout again. At first, he plays it casual but then something “comes up” or “he’s too tired”… I know this seems like the end of the world, but honestly, he could actually have something going on OR he’s just really not jazzed about more time with you. In which case, why are you stressing about someone who isn’t stressing about you? Being an adult means understanding that sometimes people are tired and sometimes people just do not like you. THE WORLD IS NOT GOING TO END.
I am a regular girl, albeit, a girl who not always excited about the way she looks and who will read copious amounts of internet articles based on total crap (which she knows is total crap) and who will enjoy a few (too many) drinks because she likes to have fun while trying not to obsess over that guy she thought was really cute…
I’m a girl.
I also don’t care about your lack of texts.
I don’t care about how you called off the “hangout”.
I don’t care that you’re playing the field still…
At the end of the day if and when I choose to find someone to be in a relationship with, a partnership with, to build a semblance of life with… I know that I would have committed to stressing about someone who is stressing about me.
Someone who won’t make me guess, because I won’t make them guess.
Someone who will respond to me because they want to and not because they feel inclined to.
Someone who will understand that work will sometimes come first, and not be afraid to put work before me because that’s what it takes sometimes and if you’re afraid to do that to your partner in fear that they’ll leave you instead of support you… Well then, are they your partner?
So these 5 signs are a bunch of crap because there is no proven science here, folks. There is no sure fire way of knowing if someone is into you the same way you’re into them unless you ask them. If you’re too afraid to ask, well then just have fun.
Let the good times roll.
Make gettin’ paid a forte.
Each and every day.
Eat the cheeseburgers.
Love the people you encounter.
I have no more worldly advice to any of you.
Happy Saturday 🙂
– The One Who Pretends She’s Got It All Figured Out