Day 38: The Art of the “R” Bomb

animals, blogging, cats, creative, lifestyle, reading, working

Urban Dictionary defines the term “R Bomb” as the following:

“To read a message, and not respond, or ignore, usually with intention”.

I’d like to point out that as a Professional Writing and English major my grammar isn’t always on point, nor are my sentences perfectly structured, but I had to read that definition more than once to deduct that was ill conceived and if all else fails in the field — I can always get a job with Urban Dictionary.

Anyways, moving away from poor grammar and into texting (ha, see what I did there? Because texting is considered the leading form of language death and…yeah, whatever)…

I have a confession to make and this is a big one. I, Noelle De Vera, am a master at the RBOMB. I do it all the time, and honestly if I do not need to talk to you or I simply do not feel like it – I will completely bypass your message and respond when I see fit… IF I ever see fit.

I’m perfectly pleasant and a little passive aggressive about it. If you say “hey” a million times and I have ignored you or simply forgotten about answering your message you might get a response akin to “hey! I’m so sorry – I was __________”. Or if you write a long winded message that probably took you a few minutes to type out and then a few extra minutes to proofread and edit I might take a few hours to think about what I’d like to say, especially if you’re hoping for a positive response and I’m only willing to give an honest one. In response, you will get a long winded message that I too have edited and thought out – but the difference here is I ignored you for so long because I felt the need to prolong our friendship – even for a few hours.

I RBOMB people like it’s nobody’s business – a little less over text than I do over Facebook Chat, WhatsApp, and Snapchat…but hey, I’m a work in progress.

My problem is that people generally text me when they have an issue or a question they wish to ask me right in that moment and because I’m at work so often I don’t get around to seeing the message unless I’m on break or finished my shift. By that time, the message is rendered either irrelevant or you’ve gotten so fed up with waiting that you sought out the answer in a different place.

Snapchats are all about showing off – everyone knows that. So, I watch the 1- second picture sideshows and go about my day because I simply have nothing special to send pictures about. I will give Snapchat this though, it’s a lot easier to do while inebriated than texting is. There are times when autocorrect can’t even help me and my goodness it’s a relief to know that I can drunkenly send a picture of my face and the person on the other end of the conversation will just get it.

My attitude toward being RBOMB’d varies, however.

I will text you the second I have something to ask you. I will wait a good 5 minutes for a response and then I will message you again. After that I will ask someone else if they have the answer to my question and if they do not have it I will text you again. If this doesn’t work, I will either give up or call you and hang up as soon as you pick up so I know you’ve checked your phone.

I don’t care if you respond to my message.

I just need to know you’ve read it.

If the last few months have taught me anything, it’s that sometimes I say things that honestly leave little to be said in response or that people just have no response for.

You see, folks – I like to finish things that I’ve started. Apparently.

I can’t remember the last time I honestly just messaged someone because I felt like talking to them.

I miss conversations like those.

But I stopped having them because I got tired of being RBOMB’d.

Somewhere along the line, I took up a habit of doing the exact same thing.

ITS A DISEASE.

Just because I do it a lot doesn’t mean I like having it done to me. If I take the time to respoInd to your texts right away you’ve reached a level in my life where you’re more important than work, my customers, my job integrity, and my overall image as an upstanding employee.

If you’ve reached that level, Mazel Tov, L’Chaim and good lineage to you and yours.

I’m going to bury my face in a book until my Feline Child demands I turn off the light.

– The Master RBOMB-er

P.S. I’ve realized my book is in my purse all the way in the other room so therefore I will now just go to sleep.

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Day 16: Mental Health Days and Boo Radley’s Addiction

blogging, creative, family, food, gaming, lifestyle, ranting, writing

Goooooooooood evening, Everyone!

Today I’ve spent the entire day inside, dressed in various forms of pajama clothing (save for the hour I spent in a bathing suit in order to go swimming in the pool down the hall from our unit), doing nothing but eating, thinking about homework, cleaning the kitchen, cooking, and more eating…

It was a masterpiece of a day!

Once in a while it’s important to take what I like to call a “Mental Health” day. Mental Health days are few and far between. They should only be employed when one is “drowning in stress due to a mountain of work large enough to cast a sorrowful shadow on the bright, sunny spring days that does not seem to be receding in size no matter how many all nighters are pulled and the countless hours of sleep missed out on”…

Okay so, with a full-time school schedule, 2 part-time jobs, and my aforementioned “full” social life – I put myself in these situations to need things like Mental Health days. SO WHAT?! My mother always told me I could sleep when I was dead anyways (thanks Mom).

These days are built to perfection with a few simple elements:

  • Comfy Clothing: now, this can range from your big, fluffy onesie with the cute giraffe ears, the sweater you sport for weeks after any breakup, the sweats you wear to the gym, the moo moo you only pull out when you feel too uncomfortable for any other form of clothing or you could go as naked as a wee bebe…Although, you should probably make sure your roommates are either A) not home or B) okay with you being crazy enough to be in the buff for a full day…
  • Absolutely No Obligations: class cancelled? perfect. meetings? cancel them! work? book the day off or switch that damn shift, you fool! Make sure you have nothing to do for the day, if people want to see you – they have to come to you.
  • Short-lived Goals: these include things like having to go to the bathroom and relieving yourself, feeling slightly hungry and feeding yourself, even better – having an itch and scratching it! Don’t plan hours or days ahead, who needs that crap? Not you – you mentally unhealthy human being, you. Today, you’re all about the #YOLO life.
  • Unnecessary Amounts of Sleep: after sleeping for a longtime the night before – it’s important to just sleep as much as you possibly can during this day off from life. You got up an hour ago but ate too much breakfast and feel sleepy? nap! you went swimming and feel slightly tired from a good workout? nap! Just sleep all the time, for the entire day. #NoRagrets At least, not for the time being.
  • Copious Amounts of Snack Food: today’s menu included chips, popcorn, chocolate (dark), breakfast of champs, cereal, and other things that I found in the kitchen. Do not leave your home if possible. Luckily, we have a tuck shop downstairs — so I don’t have to leave the premises.

Combine all of these things you’ve got yourself a pretty amazing day ahead of you. You may not get much done, but at least you’ll have a smithereen of your sanity back. Maybe. Possibly. Noooot a fool proof method.

Now, I’ve taken my Mental Health day and during that time all I’ve achieved it a lot of sleep, and hours upon hours of watching, listening to, and complaining about Boo Radley AKA B-Rad AKA Bradley (Little Singer Boy Cousin) playing this thing called DIABLO… Effing Diablo…

It’s his new addiction, and honestly I’m not too sure what is so damn great about it. I mean, the people in the game yap-yap-yap waaaaay too much. If I have to hear:

  • “I need more Arcaine Power!”
  • “I need more Fury!”
  • Or “Thank you, Champion” followed by some kind of command for further work and hours of gaming…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

That about sums it up.

I’m about to go rage on a game I’m not even playing. But why? Why is that a thing?

I’m going to try and bargain for the game to be turned off and Netflix to be turned on. Again.

Third time is the charm, right?

Wish me luck! (but that wasn’t a command, so only do that if you want too).

– The Girl who is Mentally Unstable but Somewhat Healthier

Day 5: It’s Who You Know – Not What You Know, Apparently…

blogging, lifestyle, writing

Community — defined by Google as “a feeling of fellowship with others, as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals”.

It occurred to me during the 7th or 8th consecutive hour spent on my feet, without an actual meal in my stomach, that my entire life is made up of a series of communities.

School Community.

Cafe Community.

Work Community.

The (mostly) Jewish neighborhood where the Cafe I work in happens to reside? Tight. Knit. Community.

And sure, if you want to consider the love Yvette (my co-worker and outside in the real people world BFF) and I share to be a “community” because we share common attitudes about work, our interests aren’t too far off from each other (except she goes to the gym — weird, right?) and we have the same goal of loving and accepting one another even when we’re not wearing makeup, sporting sweats, and our work shirts…well, that’s a community I have too.

Today I got the opportunity to shadow as a Salon Assistant in a Hair Salon down the street from the cafe where I get to be a “Modern Day Alchemist”.

A lot of the clientele is the same in both places due to the proximity of the two establishments and I figured the transition would be easy, enjoyable, and exciting (total win for the alliteration there #WordNerd).

**Bonus: I got to showcase my latte-art skills with the Nespresso machine they have in the back room for customers between sweeping the floor and folding towels**

“It’s all about who you know – not what you know”. I used to think it was a load of crap…until today.

The community I work in allowed me to make this somewhat seamless transition from Modern Day Alchemist to Salon Sally (I’ll think of a better name later), and I couldn’t be more grateful.

So what if it’s folding towels, sweeping floors, washing hair, fetching towels, doing laundry, and making small talk? I get to gain work experience, meet more people, and learn new things every day.

Two sides to everything people, TWO SIDES.

Grow all ways, grow always (#WordNerd).

I’m going to keep this nice and short because I’m exhausted, my feet hurt, my stomach is so desperate for food it’s going to start eating itself soon (wouldn’t THAT be nice?), and the late hour tells me 80% of you have no desire to read past this point.

New job? Awesome sauce.

Communities? Build them. They’re important.

That’s all on that for now.

I haven’t said it yet, but I really am grateful that people actually take the time to read and follow this crazy self imposed assignment I’ve taken on. It makes it that much more worth it to know I’m not just some crazy talking to themselves on the internet like that makes them look any more sane because let’s face it sometimes we keep people around just so we don’t look so crazy when we talk to ourselves and…where was I again?

Buenos Noches mi Lindas y Lindos.

– The One Who Smells like an Odd Combo of Hair Product, Bleach, and Coffee

Day 2: Can you Hear me God? It’s Me, Noelle!

blogging, food, ranting, writing

Happy Hump Day! Oh, and April Fools? But that’s not a joke because it’s a legitimate greeting and one should take it as such. Anyhow – welcome to the middle of your work week, folks…

I feel like when I embarked on this blogging extravaganza I considered a lot of things like which host website I wanted to use (kudos to WordPress for making the final cut – you are not the weakest link!), what kind of theme I wanted for my blog (simple yet sophisticated, but something that showed my age as well…you know?), and what I wanted the blog to be about (which is still up in the air as of the moment because let’s be real here, I hardly know what the hell I’m doing…Agh).

One major oversight I may have had (call it an almost certainty) is that fact that I have to come up with a different title for my posts every. single. day. So I’m promising from here on out to make my titles as interesting as possible without trying to hard to make them something they’re not.

Yes I enjoy a good pun…and most of the bad ones too.

Yes I like referencing pop culture because I’m of that age and don’t tell me how to live my life!

Yes there will be times when my post titles are dry, generic, and just plain simply unfantastical.

Such is life – c’est la vie!

You know what else is simply unfantastical? Trips to the Doctor’s office. You know, those once or twice yearly visits wherein you must take the morning, afternoon or entire day off work in order to mosey your way over to the Doctor’s office only to be told what you already know that “other than a few minor set backs due to any number of things, your health is intact and will continue to be that way if you eat well, exercise regularly, and …” zZzZzZ… I’m sorry, what was that?

I’m kidding, of course, one should always listen attentively to their physician because your body is your temple or a wonderland for people like John Mayer or…yeah, I lost it again.

The waiting area is by far my least favorite part of going to see the Doctor…

I mean really, customary calming sunset picture? Check.

Leaning tower of outdated magazines not even addressed to the Doctors in the office? Check.

Numerous posters detailing all the things that could be wrong with you but you don’t know and that’s why you’re at the Doctor’s office in the first place and I think the people in the corner are speaking about me in hushed voices because they keep looking at me but I can’t be sure because one’s got a lazy eye and none of them speak the same language as I do and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD TO THE TINY, ANCIENT WOMAN IN THE CORNER PLEASE stop tapping your travel sized lotion bottle against your hand because I can guarantee you, m’am, that it is in fact completely, 100% empty… Don’t worry folks, I’m not riddled with anxiety -ever. Who me? Pshaw.

The Doctor’s office was a trip and a half and I am ever so glad that I will not be subjected to it for the foreseeable future. I’m safe for at least another year – phew! I get so nervous going to these appointments that I must go to certain measures upon my arrival at home in order to calm down. #TeamStressCook

For those of you who don’t know what “stress cooking” is, it’s like going for a run to let off steam… for people who like to eat.

“Everything tastes better than skinny feels…” I think that’s right…right?

The meal I ended up crafting was a quasi Sheppard’s pie that took me the better part of two hours to make – but it turned out beautifully! So Rachel Ray can shove her 30 minute meals because this was much too delicious.

I suppose that’s all for now because I’ve rambled on for far too long.

Tally Ho!

– The Self Proclaimed Culinary Genius that Hates The Doctor’s Office

P.S. If you’re wondering why there is only “before” pictures of the quasi Sheppard’s pie – Travis (best friend, comic book nerd, mathematical genius, and honorary roommate) came over and we decided eating it would be much more fun than stopping to take Instagram photos…

#ThatTotalLackOfFilterLifeThough

**Batman Theme Plays**